Current Mood: cold
Song of the Day: "Love Runs Out" by OneRepublic
I have been writing or blogging as you youngsters call it for over four years now. I was always into being a fashion writer but got caught up in the celebrity aspect. That's what makes money. But, when I started my own site in 2011, I made sure to include fashion almost every week. I immediately became obsessed with all things Vince Camuto but clearly could not afford anything on a writer's budget. I did get his perfume and some jewelry and would gush over his fabulous shoes. They were shoe art. I woke up in the middle of the night to discover that my beloved designer had passed away at the age of 78 from cancer. I walked the mall this evening and whenever I passed his shoes, I had to stop and pay homage to them. He was involved in so many shoe lines including Jessica Simpson's and everything had this epic beauty down to sunglasses and purses. I am saddened by this passing because I know how much he meant to me when it came to talking fashion as a writer.
So now my new obsession will be Michael Kors but I will always keep some Vince in my heart. I'm trying to live my life day by day and find the peace within myself. I don't know what I am searching for anymore. I am in the midst of writing a memoir for grad school and I felt like I was getting writer's block. I was getting blocked...by myself. I was letting the wrong influences keep me from fulfilling my passion. Yesterday, I finally got the words and was able to put my fingers to the keyboard. Sometimes we need a little break, a mental break to just focus elsewhere so that we can come back to center. I chose Ludo as my Inner Idol for the day because, well, I'm recapping "The Taste" finale and he is a chef mentor on the show. But it runs deeper than that. His passion for making his team the best they can be blows me away every week and is beyond anything I have ever seen. I wish that I had Ludo to just yell in my ears whenever I am fucking around and not giving my all. It should not be up to my family or friends but rather Ludo. My mentor sees my final product and is always so proud of how open I am but if I could just have a Ludo on my side to remind me of my purpose, I think I'd do a lot better and a lot more. I guess my mom is my Ludo but that's not really fair to her because she has spent all these years raising me and she hasn't really had a break. When you are a creative being, your mind goes 900 miles an hour and you always want to try and do everything, even if you should shelf it. I guess it does ring true when they say parenting never stops. I think I'll wait a few more years to have a baby.
Much Love,
Mandi
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