Current Mood: cranky
Song of the Day: "Life Is A Highway" by Rascal Flatts
I have learned that no matter how old you are, there will always be gossip. Stories will always be told wrong and you can come out as the weak one when really, you were the one with the fight all along. I believe that I am on a course right now that is wavering. I am going for my dream but I am having little nightmares along the way. I suppose that is common when you have chosen a competitive and/or creative field but it can make the drive diminish. I tried to write a chapter of my memoir last night, one that was very personal to me and I froze. I could barely type and soon had to stop because I was so pained.
Was it that I did not want to deal with a sad time in my life or was it that I knew the more I wrote, the more I was going against what I really believed. I couldn't decide. I want to be a fighter; I want my Politics degree to mean something but I also want to publish an amazing book. The only way to do that is possibly to abandon my beliefs and that it what is holding my fingers from the keyboard. I can write here because this is my venting point but my memoir is my education and that seems to be compromised. I am scared that I will never be able to write the way I would like to again because there will always be that moral blockade. What would you do in this situation?
Much Love,
Mandi
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