Current Mood: sniffly
Song of the Day: "Boots On" by Craig Wayne Boyd/Blake Shelton
I was getting my nails done today and the man handed me the stack of gel colors. It is literally nail after nail on a key chain with every gel color that they have. I started to get overwhelmed. There were so many damn choices and it made me start to hyperventilate just a little bit. Why was this choice so important? What was the big deal? Why was I freaking out over green or yellow or maybe doing both? Why did I want to throw that stack of polished nails across the room and be like "fuck it all!" It's just nails. But then I started to think that maybe my anger towards the nails correlated with the inner stress that I have been going through and the inner conflicts I am facing. I have no idea what to do next with my life and I have been digging through my brain trying to figure out what I am supposed to do.
Do I stand by who I am and what I believe and have believed for most of my life or do I just take some of the good that I have gotten and go with that. I have a few signs that aim to me staying on my path that I started last year and they are great signs but are they enough? When will I ever truly be satisfied with my choices or are we ever 100% satisfied with life choices? I think that there is always some fragment of doubt within us because without doubt we cannot truly feel alive. Elements of imperfection are what make us strive harder to achieve that tip top goal and when we get there, we suddenly want more. So maybe we are never meant to be satisfied completely in life for if we are, we might just lay down and die too soon before our time. I suppose that there are those random few who think that their lives are fine but if they actually took the time to sit down and think about where they are, how would their ideals change? Would they even change at all? I'm not a simple girl which is why I think a lot and internalize everything so today, I got a french manicure. Simple, classy and requires very little thought. Maybe next time I will go to the nail salon a little more prepared and less frazzled.
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